Tips & Resources - Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke

Does the number on the scale determine your self esteem?

Knowing your core values and making sure your schedule reflects them shows that the compass of direction is within you. Real power does not come from the number on the scale or from comparing yourself with others. Instead, it comes from listening to your inner self and creating a life that is about healthy connections to others, meaningful work, getting out of your comfort zone, and following your passions. You can do this regardless of your weight or shape.

Stop focusing on unrealistic standards of beauty. Real power does not come from losing weight but from getting out of the cage that tells you that you are not enough and that you have to obsess about everything you eat. Be courageous – the time for change is now! – Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke

Original article featured on Preserving Your Bloom

By Iris Ruth Pastor

Ann Kearney-Cooke is a provocateur. She appeals to those of us who are shackled by circumstances and overruled by rationalizations.

She tells this story:
There was a small town that had a zoo and the people of the town wanted a polar bear so the directors of the zoo raised the money to acquire a polar bear and build a habitat. The polar bear arrived early and so had to be confined in a cage until the habitat was finished.

When the habitat was ready, a ceremony took place to dismantle the cage and the polar bear was set free to explore his new living quarters – with all its nooks and crannies – but the polar bear kept moving as if the cage were still there.

“How many of us,” asks Dr. Kearney-Cooke, founder and director of The Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute, “don’t get out of the cages of our own making? How many of us are doomed to get the same disappointing results because we confine ourselves to the same limited space? How many of us hold onto outdated visions and unrealistic goals?”

I, of course, key in immediately to what she is alluding to. For years, I bowed down and paid daily homage to the little black numbers that jumped into view every morning (and sometimes more than that) when I tentatively stepped on that bathroom scale. What I weighed not only determined what I ate that day, but how I felt about myself, the world, my abilities and my value.

When I finally unattached myself from this neurotic mind-set, I found myself in a state of disorientation and confusion. How could I gauge my mood without the little black numbers to keep score? How did I know whether to be energized, inspired, depressed or disappointed if THE BATHROOM SCALE wasn’t there to access my sense of self-worth?

Finally I came to the stunning conclusion that I was entitled to be happy in spite of what the scale said – not because of it, but the transition from weighing myself obsessively to not weighing myself at all was a tough one. I needed other mile markers and there were none to be found.

“Transitions, both short-term and long-term,” says Kearney-Cooke, “are tough and we tend to overeat (or drink too much, or smoke too much) when we are not making transitions in a healthy way. That’s when our resources are low and the demands are high, so we develop a symptom to re-fuel us – and too often it is one that is not good for us.”

The challenge is to create rituals that make transitions easier. Observe the lobster, who, when he outgrows his shell, discards it and goes into hiding until the new shell is fortified against predators.

We all could use a specified amount of time-out to grow a new and more resistant shell – that fits better and feels right. One woman, who has a tough time making the transition from mealtime to the end of mealtime, brushes her teeth at the end of each meal – thus depicting to herself that the meal is finished. Another woman, when she returns home from work each evening, symbolically sheds her entrepreneurial mind-set by lighting a scented candle and hovering close to take in the pleasant aroma. She has put a stop to rushing in the door, flinging off her coat and immediately zoning in on collecting her phone messages, retrieving the mail and accessing her E-mails.

As Kearney-Cooke concluded, “Become the director, not the actor of your life. And allow the ‘compass of direction’ to slowly shift until it rests where it should have been in the first place – inside yourself.”

Tina Turner: A Story of Courage, Endurance and Triumph.

By Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke

When my daughter and her friends turned 16, their moms and I decided we wanted to plan a mother-daughter celebration. We went to Benihana for dinner and then went to a Tina Turner concert. We weren’t sure if our daughters were going to enjoy seeing the “Queen of Rock and Roll” but wanted them to experience one of Tina Turner’s powerful performances and learn about her story.

Born into poverty in Tennessee, she grew up in a dysfunctional family where she felt rejected and unwanted. It was not a happy home, and she witnessed her father beat her mother on a regular basis. Her parents divorced and she moved to St. Louis with her mother. In her teens, she began performing in clubs and eventually became a backup singer for Ike Turner. They married and became the Ike and Turner Revue. They rose to international stardom and released hits including “Proud Mary” and “A Fool in Love.”

Unfortunately, Ike was an abusive, controlling husband and Tina suffered from anxiety, and depression and eventually tried to kill herself. She risked everything when she left in 1976. She wasn’t sure if her record company would support her solo career as a middle-aged Black woman singing rock and roll. Capital Records dropped her from the label, but she didn’t give up and she was picked up by another record label. She developed her own identity and emerged as a successful solo star.

When she shared her story of partner abuse, women around the world were dumbfounded. As a famous singer and a force to be reckoned with, she put into words the horror of being a battered wife and became a role model sparking hope for women in toxic relationships.

As a psychologist who has treated women in abusive relationships, I have learned there are numerous factors that contribute to the difficulty of leaving. Many women assume it is their fault, listening to repeated claims that they caused or provoked the abuse. The cycle of abuse, where the victim experiences violence and then the perpetrator calms down for a little while before it escalates again, is very powerful. Another factor is the fear that if they leave, they will be financially unable to take care of themselves and their children. They worry they will lose custody and fear retribution from their abuser. Abuse destroys self-confidence, leaving the abused feeling trapped, exhausted, and finding it hard to walk away.

When I heard that Tina Turner died two weeks ago, I called my daughter and relived the concert we attended when she was 16. Even though she didn’t understand domestic abuse at that age, she learned the red flags and helped support one of her friends exit a toxic relationship.

We were so relieved when we learned Tina married Bach, a German record executive, and received the love and care she deserved at last. Towards the end of her life, she found peace in her relationship with Bach and through the teachings of Buddhism. Whether she was lighting up the stage or sparking hope for victims of domestic violence, Tina Turner was an amazing woman we will never forget.

Megan Fox says she has body dysmorphia.

Originally published in the Washington Post

What to know about the disorder.

Body dysmorphia can harm people’s mental health and self-esteem

Megan Fox spoke in a recent interview about her struggles with body image and the challenges of living under the microscope of Hollywood.

“I have body dysmorphia. I don’t ever see myself the way other people see me. There’s never a point in my life where I loved my body,” Fox, 37, said in a video interview for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2023 issue. The actress has spoken about having body dysmorphia and other mental health issues in the past.

People with severe body dysmorphia disorder can become reclusive, struggle in relationships and suffer from other mental health issues, experts say.

We spoke to experts about body dysmorphia, including how to know if you have it and potential treatment options and risks. Here’s what they said.

What is body dysmorphia, also known as body dysmorphic disorder?

Body dysmorphic disorder, or BDD, is a mental health condition. It’s defined as an obsession with a perceived flaw in physical appearance — one that is usually imperceptible to others.

BDD, which shares similarities with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), can cause severe distress to those who struggle with it. One form, known as muscle dysmorphia, more often affects men.

The disorder can harm people’s mental health and self-esteem. Many with body dysmorphia also struggle with anxiety, depression and even suicidal ideation.

Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, said it is important to note that body dysmorphia is not the same thing as an eating disorder, which is a preoccupation specifically with body shape and weight and typically leads to eating, exercising and other compensatory behaviors.

Also, the preoccupation is not because of a noticeable deformity or malformation such as a large scar. “It’s the idea that this perceived defect is usually quite minor compared to the amount of distress and preoccupation it’s causing,” Durvasula said.

What causes body dysmorphia? Who is at risk?

There isn’t one specific cause of BDD, which affects about 1 in 50 people in the United States, and affects men and women roughly equally, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

Experts say the disorder typically presents in adolescence, a particularly tough time for young people because of all the changes in their physical appearance.

In some cases, there may be a genetic predisposition to BDD or OCD, said Ann Kearney-Cooke, a psychologist in Cincinnati who specializes in treating body image and eating disorders.

Other times, she said, the disorder may be triggered by a negative childhood experience such as abuse, neglect or bullying that made the person overly sensitive to perceived flaws in their appearance.

Culture can play a role. And perfectionism can intensify the obsessions, Kearney-Cooke said.

“It really doesn’t get better on its own and, when not treated, can actually get worse over time,” she said.

How do I know if I have body dysmorphia? What are the symptoms?

Signs of body dysmorphia can present differently in each person. But the hallmark symptom is a preoccupation with a perceived flaw in physical appearance.

This prompts people to engage in obsessive behaviors such as checking themselves in the mirror for extended periods of time or taking photos on their smartphones to better assess the perceived flaw. They often feel embarrassment or shame and try to cover it up. They seek reassurance and compare themselves to other people — which has only become more tempting in the social media age, experts said.

In addition to the psychological harm, the disorder can take a financial toll, Durvasula said. In many cases, people seek expensive cosmetic medical care from dermatologists, dentists and surgeons. These compulsive behaviors may temporarily relieve the distress, experts said, but then it builds again, creating a need for further checking and fixing.

How is body dysmorphia diagnosed?

There are no universal tests to conclusively diagnose BDD, but people who think they may have the disorder should speak with a medical or mental health professional, who can assess their symptoms and diagnose the disorder.

“We look to see whether this preoccupation is taking a toll on their life,” Durvasula said.

“This is a person for whom the preoccupation is causing what we call ‘social and occupational impairment,’” such as spending excessive amounts of time or money, making it difficult to attend school or hold down a job, she said. “They are displaced from friendships. They’re burning bridges with people.”

Can body dysmorphia be treated?

BDD is treatable, though it cannot be cured. Treatment options differ for each patient, but healthcare providers tend to recommend a combination of cognitive behavioral therapies and medication.

“We try to teach people to identify what are their thoughts and how they can challenge the distortions in their thinking,” Kearney-Cooke said.

In cases involving additional mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression, medications may be added to the treatment plan.

If you or someone you know is suffering from body dysmorphia, click here to see how we can help.

Everyone in US needs to work across the aisle

By Dr. Ann Kearney Cooke

Original article featured in The Enquirer, Cincinnati

During the past few weeks, I have listened to and read interviews with Matt Damon about the newly released film titled “Stillwater.” Damon, a liberal Hollywood actor plays the role of Bill Baker, a conservative Oklahoma roughneck, and former addict. In the film, Bill has a daughter who is serving time In Marseilles prison for the murder of her girlfriend. He travels to France to prove his daughter is innocent.

Let’s pay attention to the other message from Damon’s new film. Dipping into curiosity and compassion helped him understand another way of life. Maybe there is a lesson for all of us in our divided country in the movie.

To prepare for this role, Damon describes spending time in Oklahoma. He hung out with oil rig workers, attended their backyard barbecues, and played with their children. He wanted to immerse himself in the lifestyle of Bill, the role he played in the movie.

He discussed how doing the research for this movie left him with a new perspective. Playing the role of Bill made him realize that the things that bind us together are so much greater than the things that divide us. That whether you are a Republican or Democrat, we have much more in common with each other than we think. As a psychologist, it seemed to me that Damon developed empathy and understanding of Bill, even though his everyday lifestyle and political beliefs are on the opposite side of the spectrum.

David Marchese for The New York Times Magazine interviewed Damon about the film. In the interview, Damon said, “Bill’s choices are not mine.” He followed this by saying, but “it was my job to understand them.”

Is it only the job of an actor to try to understand different points of view? With the country so divided, do we all need to step back from our own echo chambers, where people see things exactly the way we do? Is it time for us to reach out to people around us who see things differently than we do?

Instead of always trying to be right, let’s try to be more curious and compassionate towards each other.

This is not the country I grew up in. I grew up where politicians reached across the aisle and people disagreed on political issues. Yet, they could tolerate differing beliefs.

My father, who served in the Navy during World War II, talked about how our country didn’t enter the war as a united nation. There were strong social and political disagreements around issues such as the economy and race. However, we pulled together, regardless of political beliefs. This led to a period of national unity and patriotism. It’s time to start rooting for the same team again.

During this period of hyper-partisanship, not even a worldwide pandemic can bring Americans together. Instead, it is intensifying an existing divide. We are injecting politics into a pandemic that has killed more than 613,000 people in our country.

There has been so much hatred and intolerance among Americans over the past few years – to the point that some individuals have cut ties with family and friends who don’t vote the way they do. This anger and disconnect among Americans are creating a tone of general irritability and an increase in anxiety. As a psychologist of over 35 years, I have treated clients of different religious, racial, and political affiliations. I have learned that all of us are much more similar than different from each other. Most people want to be close to others, have their basic needs met, and have a degree of stability, and happiness in their life.

The time for change is now! It’s not just the politicians who need to work across the aisle, but all of us. Let’s embrace our own innate curiosity and stop digging our heels in and open our minds up and become more compassionate towards others during these most difficult times.

The Real Reason You Want A Drastic Hair Makeover During The Pandemic

Original article

The experts say it’s not just you.

It’s a well-worn, almost comical movie trope: Girl gets dumped (or suffers another massive life upheaval), girl stares into mirror with grim determination, girl hacks off a chunk of hair with scissors, girl tearfully smiles while holding shorn hair as inspiring music swells. In the fictional world, the meltdown makeover is a form of empowerment — a symbolic show of rebirth, of taking back control of your identity. In the real world, these types of major aesthetic makeovers, spurred by emotional duress do happen, but it’s not always a clear cut story of female empowerment — many times, it’s a coping strategy for serious mental and emotional trauma. And in 2020 especially, it seemed like many people dealt with the pandemic’s stress and anxiety with a drastic hair change.

“From birth, there is this message that if you can control your body, you feel more self-esteem and better about yourself,” says Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, a psychologist and body image and eating disorders expert in Cincinnati, Ohio. “When things feel out of control, people will often try to change their body or their look because it’s something they feel like they can [have control over].” Emily*, a 38-year-old writer in Kansas City, Missouri, can relate to that mentality. “Changing my hair gives me something to focus on other than whatever shitty thing is happening in my life,” she says. “I went red after a really dramatic breakup and stayed that way for a decade, until I had a miscarriage and bleached the hell out of it. It always helps my mood to feel like I look good, too.”

And if society’s mood has ever needed a boost, it’s now. The pandemic has taken even the most emotionally stable and thrown them into a tailspin of anxiety, stress, burnout, boredom, loneliness, and stagnation. “This has been a terrible year for the mental health of Americans,” agrees Dr. Kearney-Cooke. “You have people feeling like they can’t control anything — if they get the virus, if their loved ones get the virus, if they lose their jobs. I saw many of my patients going to the hair salon because it made them feel good and [helped regain a sense of control].”

Notes Kim Kimble, celebrity hairstylist and owner of Kimble Hair Studio in West Hollywood, “Throughout the pandemic people have made very harsh decisions because of stress. Hair was something people could control in a moment in time where there was absolutely no control. If you pair that with the monotony of looking at your hair every day, you get rash decisions.”

That resulted in some people taking matters into their own hands during lockdown. “I’m used to getting fairly regular haircuts, so by May 2020 my hair was getting long and the ends were stringy,” says Emily*, “I had also come to realize I was pretty much living in Groundhog Day, but with anxiety, which isn’t great for a person with ADHD — I need constant change, I need excitement. I’d been watching the second season of Dead to Me and was obsessed with Linda Cardellini’s bangs; I decided I had to give myself bangs, like right that minute. I had bangs all throughout my twenties and often trimmed them myself in between visits to my stylist, so I opened a bottle of rosé, grabbed a blunt, rusty hair razor and gave myself some passable curtain bangs.”

For the less adventurous, they waited for salons across the country to re-open before flocking to their colorists and stylists en masse with visions of hair transformations dancing in their brains. Says Liz Rim, lead hairstylist at IGK Salon in SoHo, New York, “People that want a dramatic change with their hair are usually going through something. Even before the pandemic, they would come in when a relationship was done, or a new chapter in their life was starting. Pre-pandemic it was probably one out of a hundred. During the pandemic I would say about one out of three people want a change.”

Adds Richy Kandasamy, colorist and R+Co Collective Member, “I have seen a lot of clients coming back to the salon going through [stressful situations]. Some won’t tell you, but the energy they come into the salon with and the demand and eagerness to change their hair color is a direct message. At least one a day to be honest.”

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A post shared by Spoke & Weal (@spokeandweal)

Many of those clients are giving up their signature looks and going for a complete 180 in their overall vibe. Hey, if Billie Eilish can ditch the green roots for all-over platinum, what’s to stop you from chopping off your long locks into a bob? Says Rim, “Because of all these [pandemic-related] changes, I think we’ve had a lot of time to think on what we want to change and what we see as important – both mentally and physically. I think people want to test out what their iconic look could be.” For her, she’s seen an uptick in graphic cuts like bobs and lobs, as well as Birkin bangs and shaggier styles.

Kimble, on the other hand, has noticed an increase in clients requesting short hair at her salons. “I see people wanting a major hair chop. There’s a connection with [that kind of cut] and disconnecting yourself from any negative energy because a lot of people believe hair has a connection with energy. When people change their lives, they want a new look to represent the new person they are becoming.”

On the color front, Kandasamy says blondes at all ends of the spectrum have been big for him, something he credits to the Zoom boom. “Clients are spending more time on their [devices] and their face is always exposed, so I’m seeing a lot of attention around face framing or contouring with lighter and brighter blonde tones,” he says. “Champagne blonde highlights, classic and seamless highlights, or balayage techniques with cinnamon brown to warm honey hues. After this dark and tough pandemic season they want to bring lightness, brightness, warmth, and positivity back into their day-to-day life by embracing a new, positive change.” He also notes that clients are experimenting with more creative tones. “I have a lot of clients after the pandemic wanting big changes and becoming more flexible to try new color palettes since they are not at corporate offices anymore. The color trend for spring 2021 will inspire clients to be more creative and playful with the tones – think more pastels and bolder shades.”

Jenna Perry, a celebrity stylist in NYC, says drastic color changes have been on the rise in her salon as well, with red and blonde leading the charge. “Everyone is seeking reinvention and a major change by rebranding ourselves,” she says. “Right now, everyone is coloring their hair a shade of red. It’s dramatic and very daring, it stands out in a crowd, and it’s also incredibly sexy.”

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A post shared by Jenna Perry (@jennaperryhair)

But, says Dr. Kearney-Cooke, negative emotions aren’t the only psychological response that’s driving the meltdown makeover. “During the lockdown, nothing was changing, people were bored and that boredom played a role in anxiety [and] in depression,” she says. “We had most of the things that brought us pleasure taken away. There’s a pleasure pathway in the brain and if we don’t get the pleasure that we need from life, we can turn to unhealthy habits like [overconsumption of] food and alcohol. When you get your hair done, that’s fun, that’s pleasurable, and you miss that pleasure.”

For Colleen*, a publicist in Orange County, California, the lockdown had left her burnt out and disengaged from her daily life. “I was feeling like I was not putting enough time and effort into my own self-care. I wasn’t investing in myself or things that make me happy because not many people saw me outside of my Zoom calls — so was it necessary to pay for extensions and hair color I needed to maintain? I was also in a relationship that felt comfortable to me but wasn’t truly where I wanted to be if I was truly honest with myself. The pandemic played a major role in where I was both emotionally and mentally, especially as we hit the one year mark.”

After recognizing how the monotony was affecting her, she made the decision to hit the salon for a soft blonde color and 22-inch Natural Beaded Row hair extensions, which had an instant effect on her mood. “I honestly couldn’t believe the person I was looking at in the mirror was me! I felt so beautiful and could tell mentally I was flipping on a positive switch the moment my stylist showed me the final look. I felt such relief and that helped alleviate my anxiety and improve my happiness drastically.”

That’s not to say that a new hair look will suddenly fix all your mental health issues and magically erase the hellscape of a year everyone has endured. As Emily notes, “Just like any cosmetic change, my bangs were very exciting for awhile. I mean, I was in a place where I was picking fights with my husband just to feel something other than my pandemic anxiety. Eventually, like bangs often do when you’re not styling your hair every day, they became an annoyance. As I grew out my bangs, I dyed the ends of my hair pink. Eventually I grew tired of that, too and had to bleach and tone my hair, like, seven times to get it all out. But again, it was something other than my anxiety to fixate on. And it’s just hair. It will always grow back or grow out.”

Still, having that distraction and something to look forward to has been a salve for many who were longing to feel something — anything — in the midst of what felt like an unending cycle of “What are we going to do today? Oh, the same thing we did yesterday — stay inside and not see anyone or do anything. Cool.”

Now, as vaccines slowly start to roll out and society begins to experience a wholly unfamiliar sensation — hope — some stylists say that clients are coming to them for a different kind of pandemic makeover. “You have people coming out of lockdown thinking that they haven’t really been seen in a year and they are reinventing themselves to be someone new,” says Jon Reyman, stylist and owner of Spoke & Weal salons. “It’s a ‘here I am, and now I get to choose where I want to go and maybe create a whole new conversation [about me].’ People are bringing themselves back into the sunlight, so to speak, and there’s this element of reintegrating back into the world and wanting to make sure that they are presenting themselves the way that they want.” So, now the question becomes, who do you want to be when the world opens back up?

Editor’s note: *Last name withheld

Teens with negative body image may experience depression as adults, study finds

By Kristen Rogers, CNN
December 7, 2020

Original article

Adolescence is fraught with stressful changes, and the developing body can be one of those challenges, especially if a teen’s body doesn’t meet society’s — or that teen’s — standards.

Negative body image can threaten mental health, according to new research that found teenagers who were dissatisfied with their bodies tended to experience depression as adults.

Previous research has shown that up to 61% of adolescents have reported experiencing body dissatisfaction to some extent, cited a study published Monday in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, documenting a trend increasing alongside the social media boom.

Despite the connection between negative body image and eating disorders, other risky health behaviors and poor mental health, “body dissatisfaction is not widely viewed as a concern” in the public health field, the study authors said.

Few children struggle with depression, but the likelihood grows as children grow — so the authors studied how depression might contribute to the body image of adolescents.

Recent studies have also been predominantly focused on the United States, so the researchers turned their attention toward United Kingdom-based teens, most of whom were White.

When the study participants were 14, on a five-point scale (from extremely satisfied to extremely dissatisfied) they rated their satisfaction with their weight, figure, body build or breasts, stomach, waist, thighs, butt, hips, legs, face and hair. When the participants were about 18, a nurse assessed their depression symptoms and severity.

Both teenage girls and boys were mildly satisfied with their bodies overall, but girls tended to be more dissatisfied than boys. “Females tended to be dissatisfied with their thighs, stomach and weight and satisfied with their hair and hips,” the authors said. “For males, the body parts associated with more dissatisfaction were body build, stomach and hips.”

Weight and figure were the most common areas of distress: At 14, 32% of girls and 14% of boys were dissatisfied with their weight. More than 27% of girls and nearly 14% of boys were unhappy with their figure. Girls who were discontent with their bodies at 14 had mild, moderate and severe depressive episodes at 18, while boys had mild and/or moderate depressive episodes. The findings contrast the ideas that negative body image is exclusive to high body mass index and girls and women.

“Body image encompasses feelings and thoughts about many aspects of appearance beyond weight,” said the study’s first author Anna Bornioli, a senior researcher in transport and urban economics at the Erasmus Centre for Urban, Port and Transport Economics at Erasmus University Rotterdam, via email.

“Whilst someone may be deemed traditionally attractive, they can still feel inadequate and uncomfortable with their body because they do not match up to appearance ideals.”

“Research in the past focused almost exclusively on thinness. When boys and men were found to not want to be thinner, they were assumed to not have body image problems,” said Mike C. Parent, a psychologist and assistant professor in the department of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, via email.
“We now know that boys and men don’t usually want to be thinner—they want to be more muscular,” said Parent, who wasn’t involved in the study. “The present study addresses this somewhat by looking at satisfaction with body parts, not a desire to be thinner, but we can see remnants of the history of body image research emphasizing the experience of girls and women in the body satisfaction items (e.g., hips and thighs are mentioned, but not abs and pecs).”

Becoming body positive

Even though times have changed, “females are taught that there’s a charge around their body, meaning that the more they look like the ideal, the better their life will be,” said Ann Kearney-Cooke, a psychologist and author of “Change Your Mind, Change Your Body: Feeling Good About Your Body and Self After 40.”

“Males are taught more like what you do is going to determine more of your life,” Kearney-Cooke, who wasn’t involved in the study, added.

A constant stream of perfectly styled, edited and curated images doesn’t help, either.

“We see the really low-weight body with plastic surgeon breasts, and so what you’re seeing isn’t biologically possible,” Kearney-Cooke said. “Even for men, that V-shaped body… you have to really spend a lot of time to get that look, and it means you’re not spending time on other things. And you see the guys sometimes on steroids.”

Working on your perception of your body can not only make you more appreciative of it, but also improve your confidence and opportunities. “Whatever you focus on gets bigger,” Kearney-Cooke said. These experts have advice for how you can start:

Remember that bodies come in all shapes and sizes.
Don’t compare yourself to others. “Most people, when they compare themselves to others, especially females, they come up short,” she added. Additionally, “the person you see on TV isn’t the person that walked into the greenroom.”
Keep track of any choice you make to feel good about your body. This can help you to begin to enjoy yourself in opportunities you once avoided out of fear of how you look.
Donate clothes that no longer fit to a good cause. Then find fabrics and colors you feel good in.
When negative thoughts enter your mind, visualize a stop sign. Realize that it’s mental noise from cultural judgments, comments and comparison and is likely untrue.
Confront unwanted comments about your body. “Say to them, ‘I’d appreciate if you don’t comment on my body,'” Kearney-Cooke said.
Be aware that what you see on social media often isn’t reality. Most people post their “very best pictures,” she added. “Go within yourself and let (your) compass of direction be you.”
Adjust your social media consumption. On social media you can find people of various racial and ethnic identities, body types and abilities, Parent said. You have some degree of power in creating your social media environment.
Take care of your body in ways that make you feel best. Try to eat healthful foods often but don’t get hung up on “good” or “bad” foods. View your body as something to nurture rather than something to punish through restrictive eating or excessive exercise, Bornioli said.
Shift to perceiving your body “as an instrument, not an ornament,” she added. Focusing on what your body can do removes emphasis from how you look, and instead makes you more appreciative of how amazing your body is.

“The reality is, real power isn’t trying to make your body look like somebody else’s,” Kearney-Cooke said. “Real power is defining yourself by the choices you make each day, whether that’s around your body or other things (such as that you) chose to listen to a friend when they were down.”

Chat from the Living Room: Eating Disorders

Experts in the field of Eating Disorders have come together weekly to offer free support. Morningside Chats in the Living Room is a safe space for anyone to join, listen, comment, be present and as anonymous, as you choose. Each week a different expert in the eating disorder field will engage in casual dialog and offer tips and support. Professionals are sharing their unique perspectives on life, joy, daily struggles, and the rapidly changing environment we all find ourselves in today.

Morningside Chats offers a genuine source of connection and support for both the speakers and participants during this time of isolation. It is a place to connect, share, process, and uncover the silver linings or just hang out.

You can maintain your anonymity by signing on as anonymous in your profile or by changing your name on the screen when you sign on to the call. You will not be seen as all videos will be turned off except for those of the hosts.

Register now free!

American Teenagers Suffer Mental Health Crisis During the Coronavirus Pandemic

mental health in teens during coronavirus

By Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke

Originally featured on The Cincinnati Enquirer

According to a national survey of adolescents aged 13-18 (Harris Poll, May 2020):

7 out of ten said they were struggling with their mental health in some way
45 percent said they were experiencing excessive stress
55 percent said they were experiencing anxiety and 43 percent said they struggle with depression
65 percent said the coronavirus has increased their feelings of loneliness.

Without question, the coronavirus has had an adverse effect on many teens’ mental health.

Here are some tips for parents to help their teenagers navigate this challenging situation as time grinds on and there is no sign the coronavirus will end soon.

1. It’s OK to not be OK.
Let your teenager know if they are feeling anxious, disappointed, and lonely- to remember they are not alone. Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling with someone they trust, whether that be an adult, sibling, or friend. If they talk about it to you, listen with an empathetic ear and be there for them. Talking about their fears and concerns can help them feel as though a burden is lifted and leave him/her not feeling so alone or think something is wrong with them.

As parents, try to model healthy ways of dealing with your own uncomfortable feelings by taking a walk, listening to music, etc. At the end of the day, it might be fun for parents to high five their kids and laugh that they all made it through another day. Feeling safe and connected with your family is very soothing for an anxious teenager.

2. Help them feel more in control.
Researchers have found that when individuals are under chronic stress and uncertainty, where they don’t feel any control, it is helpful to clarify what they have control of and what they don’t. For example, teenagers have control of social distancing, wearing masks, and calling friends. They don’t have control of anticipated events that are now not happening like a summer job, canceled summer concerts, and what school will be like in the fall.

Action is the antidote for anxiety and depression. Encourage them to set up a schedule for themselves each day, connect with grandparents and extended family and help others, for example, buy groceries for an elderly neighbor, donate blood, etc.

3. Encourage and help find safe ways for teenagers to connect with each other.
Adolescent isolation can increase psychological distress. Many teens have been stuck all day at home with their families for months on end. This interferes with the basic needs of adolescents who are evolutionarily wired to become increasingly independent from parents and strengthen their connection with peers.

Help your teens connect with their friends. Plan a family a hike and have your teenager invite their best friend. Give them space to walk ahead of you or behind you so they can have their own confidential conversation. Allow your teens more time on social media than normal. They can be on group chats with their friends, FaceTime with others, and play video games online together with peers. This gives them time to talk with people their own age about how they are doing during this tough time and joke and have fun together. Teenagers need each other. Support from their friends can mean a lot to them.

4. Teach your children the concept of radical acceptance.
One of the strategies of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is the concept of radical acceptance. Some teenagers are angry about not being able to live a “normal “ teenage life and complain that the confines of the coronavirus aren’t fair.

Radical acceptance is acknowledging that the pandemic is here and it is difficult to deal with but they can be creative and get through it. Fighting the reality of this crisis causes suffering and intensifies your reactions and emotions…you don’t have to like reality to accept it. Once you accept coronavirus for what it is, only then can you focus on the changes you need to make to get through it.

I believe being a parent is the hardest job in the world, yet also the most meaningful one. Make sure you are taking radical care of yourself because the demands of parenting are increasing now. Try to keep perspective and remember this too shall pass!

If your teen needs some extra help to get through this challenging time, let’s chat. Contact me for a free consultation to see if working together would be a good fit!

Anxiety Coronavirus COVID-19 Depression

Meet Dr. Ann!

Get to know licensed psychologist and wellness coach, Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke in this quick interview! The time for change is now! Health, wellness, and a meaningful life don’t just happen – you have to make it happen. Dr. Kearney Cooke will teach you wellness practices based on the latest findings in neuroscience that can help you develop physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being!

Moving Onward & Upward

As a psychologist, I use empirically validated treatments like dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy to treat panic-like symptoms, difficult transitions, depression, eating problems and sleep problems that are common psychological issues during the coronavirus pandemic.

But I find people also need to be inspired with meaningful stories and philosophical, spiritual ideas. I am not a Buddhist but I often share the basic tenets of Buddhist philosophy to help individuals regulate uncomfortable emotions and gain perspective during uncertain times.

When I was in college I learned about Buddhism in a class titled “The Seven Religions of the World.” Buddhism teaches that the path to enlightenment and happiness is through the four noble truths:

The first noble truth is that pain is inevitable.
It is not because you are defective or “not enough “or did something wrong that you are experiencing pain. It is simply part of the human condition. Pain is inherent because everything in life is always changing. People divorce, kids grow up and leave home, some businesses close unexpectantly…what seems like it came out of nowhere, now we have the coronavirus which has changed every aspect of our lives.

The positive aspect of everything changing is that if you are in a bad place, bad times won’t last forever. They will change. In time, we will have a coronavirus vaccine and our lives will not return to how they were months ago, but we are resilient and we will develop a new normal.

If you are in a good place, enjoy the present moment. Focus your energy on all the good in your life because everything changes.

The second noble truth is that suffering is optional.
We can’t help if there is pain in our lives but we can choose to suffer or not suffer – even during the pandemic. Suffering occurs when we struggle against our life experiences (“this isn’t fair, this shouldn’t be happening to me”, etc.)and crave what we can’t have. We want to go on vacation this summer, watch sports events, participate in arts – not on TV but in person. We want to stop worrying about ourselves and loved one getting the virus, grieving losses of people who have died because of the virus and social distancing.

We have to radically accept that we are in pandemic and reach out to others. Let’s use our extra time to stop and see if we are living in a way that is healthy and experiencing some level of joy in our lives, and during this communal pause let’s reflect and remember the time for change is now!!

If you need some extra help to start living with more ease and joy, let’s chat! Contact me for a free consultation to see if working together would be a good fit!