By Dr. Ann Kearney Cooke
Original article featured in The Enquirer, Cincinnati
During the past few weeks, I have listened to and read interviews with Matt Damon about the newly released film titled “Stillwater.” Damon, a liberal Hollywood actor plays the role of Bill Baker, a conservative Oklahoma roughneck, and former addict. In the film, Bill has a daughter who is serving time In Marseilles prison for the murder of her girlfriend. He travels to France to prove his daughter is innocent.
Let’s pay attention to the other message from Damon’s new film. Dipping into curiosity and compassion helped him understand another way of life. Maybe there is a lesson for all of us in our divided country in the movie.
To prepare for this role, Damon describes spending time in Oklahoma. He hung out with oil rig workers, attended their backyard barbecues, and played with their children. He wanted to immerse himself in the lifestyle of Bill, the role he played in the movie.
He discussed how doing the research for this movie left him with a new perspective. Playing the role of Bill made him realize that the things that bind us together are so much greater than the things that divide us. That whether you are a Republican or Democrat, we have much more in common with each other than we think. As a psychologist, it seemed to me that Damon developed empathy and understanding of Bill, even though his everyday lifestyle and political beliefs are on the opposite side of the spectrum.
David Marchese for The New York Times Magazine interviewed Damon about the film. In the interview, Damon said, “Bill’s choices are not mine.” He followed this by saying, but “it was my job to understand them.”
Is it only the job of an actor to try to understand different points of view? With the country so divided, do we all need to step back from our own echo chambers, where people see things exactly the way we do? Is it time for us to reach out to people around us who see things differently than we do?
Instead of always trying to be right, let’s try to be more curious and compassionate towards each other.
This is not the country I grew up in. I grew up where politicians reached across the aisle and people disagreed on political issues. Yet, they could tolerate differing beliefs.
My father, who served in the Navy during World War II, talked about how our country didn’t enter the war as a united nation. There were strong social and political disagreements around issues such as the economy and race. However, we pulled together, regardless of political beliefs. This led to a period of national unity and patriotism. It’s time to start rooting for the same team again.
During this period of hyper-partisanship, not even a worldwide pandemic can bring Americans together. Instead, it is intensifying an existing divide. We are injecting politics into a pandemic that has killed more than 613,000 people in our country.
There has been so much hatred and intolerance among Americans over the past few years – to the point that some individuals have cut ties with family and friends who don’t vote the way they do. This anger and disconnect among Americans are creating a tone of general irritability and an increase in anxiety. As a psychologist of over 35 years, I have treated clients of different religious, racial, and political affiliations. I have learned that all of us are much more similar than different from each other. Most people want to be close to others, have their basic needs met, and have a degree of stability, and happiness in their life.
The time for change is now! It’s not just the politicians who need to work across the aisle, but all of us. Let’s embrace our own innate curiosity and stop digging our heels in and open our minds up and become more compassionate towards others during these most difficult times.
