Do you have trouble accepting compliments about your appearance?
Do you discount compliments and say “they are just trying to be nice”?
Do you focus on critical comments said by others about how you look?
Responses like these to feedback from others about your appearance illustrate what I call the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon. The basic idea of the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon is that positive feedback from others falls through the “holes” in one’s body image, like the holes in the Swiss cheese. However, negative feedback, no matter how much rarer and implausible, manages to stick. That’s why it is difficult to develop a different attitude towards your body. The tendency to downplay or discount positive reactions to your appearance illustrates how the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon perpetuates a negative body image. This process robs you of the joy of feeling good about the “house you live in”…your body.
Be Deliberate About Developing A Healthy Body/Self-image & Get Comfortable Accepting Compliments!
- To begin, say thank you after a compliment, instead of your natural reaction to discount. Remember if someone were to give you a gift you would say “thank you”. Be gracious, accept the compliment, and take it in. It also makes the giver of the compliment feel good.
- Say the compliment to yourself several times during the day. Whatever you focus on helps you create new neural patterns in the brain to replace the negative body image patterns.
- Develop a body esteem file where you write down the day the person who gave the compliment and the exact words of the compliment. Whatever you focus on gets bigger!
- Surround yourself with people who support you in accepting and taking care of your body. It is not your fault if you were surrounded by critical people early in your life, but it is your responsibility to choose and spend time with people with positive supportive people now.
You too can develop a healthy body image. Will you spend the rest of your life allowing the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon to keep you stuck – or will you take on the challenge of being deliberate and creating a positive body image? The choice is yours!
If you need some extra help to start living with more ease and joy, let’s chat! Contact me for a free consultation to see if working together would be a good fit!
